Today I would like to talk to you about a question often asked by customers: an important link in the process of surrogacy - how is the video interview of the surrogate mother carried out?What questions should I ask, and which questions involve privacy and are inconvenient to ask?

Let me talk about language first

Many customers don’t speak English or their English is not good, so they feel flustered during the video. If I cooperate with me in the video, I will be the host and interpreter. If it is another intermediary, he will provide a Chinese translation. In short, Language is the least of your worries, the video is conducted by a host, guest and surrogate mother.

Do both couples need to attend at the same time?Or is it possible to participate alone?

In fact, Brother Tao suggested that both husband and wife should participate, which is more formal and more sincere.But if the time is not coincidental, it doesn’t matter if you participate alone, because usually most of these surrogate mothers are alone, and some married sometimes their husbands will participate, so you don’t have to worry about whether it is a couple or an individual.

What should I prepare before the video?

Your background environment, your clothes, and your manners are very important and need to be prepared in advance.Express a formal attitude, it is best not to wear pajamas, although the video often has time lag, if sleepy eyes are still wearing pajamas, it will make the pregnant mother feel very casual, and the first impression will be bad.I once met a writer guest whose behavior during the video made me stunned. I don’t know if he just had a full meal. During the video, he was still shaving his teeth, and there were rice grains in his mouth, and sometimes he closed his mouth when he spoke. Even if I squint my eyes, I feel embarrassed. This is very insincere and the image is very bad.So I suggest that it should be more formal, and the background should be at least a little cleaner, which means that you care about the surrogate mother.Thinking in another way, what would you think if a surrogate mother made such a video?Just as some customers are very picky, they interviewed seven or eight surrogate mothers, and each of them could pick out faults. Some surrogate mothers are perfect, and they thought they could be matched. Mothers usually have children. Sometimes the children run into the camera, and it is human nature to take care of them, but the guests just don’t understand.It can be seen that guests have high requirements for mothers, so surrogate mothers also have such expectations for guests, be formal and respect each other.

What are the right questions to ask during a video?

First you can ask about family support for pregnant mothers.It is divided into two aspects. First, does his family support him in doing this?This is very important, including whether her husband or parents or his children are supportive. Through this question, you can understand the preparation of the surrogate mother for this matter, especially the psychological preparation.Second, can her family give her some support, for example, can someone take care of her child when she is pregnant and goes to the maternity check-up?If the family can provide some support, each other can feel at ease.You can get a general idea of ​​these questions by asking her about her family situation.

Secondly, you can ask about the pregnant mother’s living habits, including diet and work and rest patterns. Some customers may worry that the pregnant mother often eats junk food and eats takeaways every day. In fact, there is no need to worry, because the United States now also promotes healthy eating. I don't know how to drink carbonated drinks, and I don't know how to eat those junk foods.They also cook at home by themselves. You can ask her what food she usually eats. Most of the answers will be chicken. Some customers will think that steak is very cheap in the United States. Why don’t they eat steak?To be honest, steak is still expensive compared to beef and chicken in the United States.Chicken is cheap, and the meat of chicken is relatively tender, while the meat of steak is a little harder. Many people like to eat chicken.After all, it is affordable to cook by yourself.Then you can also ask her about her daily routine, what time she wakes up and what time she goes to bed, etc. Most people live a relatively simple life without that kind of colorful nightlife.Usually get up at five or six in the morning to prepare breakfast, send the children to school, and go home to deal with housework. The dinner will be very grand, and a very rich dinner must be made. After the meal, everyone will watch a movie or TV, and they must go to bed before 9:XNUMX.Americans generally get up very early, because they go to work very early, and traffic jams occur when they are late.Regarding the fitness issues that some customers want to know, most of them are not.Watching children is their sport, don't expect too much from this.

You can also ask why she is a surrogate mother?This is very interesting, I got almost the same answers from so many videos of surrogate mothers, mainly because she thinks pregnancy is not difficult for her, she is very relaxed and enjoys the pregnancy process, and then she can help others.Of course there is an income, some of them use this money to go to college, some buy a house.Most pregnant mothers like to be pregnant and want to help others. This is their starting point.And it's not a whim, it's deliberate.After hearing about this meaningful thing, I will do it when the time is right.The surrogate mother will also think about what is her life ideal?For example, she has three children, and she only has one now, so at least give birth to those two, and then come out to do it.You would say why she didn't help others give birth first, and then go back to continue giving birth?What many customers ignore is that surrogacy is test-tube baby, and test-tube baby has a risk, which risk may cause loss of fertility. It is artificial, so they are very worried that I may be pregnant for the last time after doing this. My goal in life It can't be realized, so I have to give birth to enough children before I come out to do it, and sometimes my husband or boyfriend disagrees. After breaking up, she can make her own decision and come out to do it.So you will find that more than 90% of the surrogate mothers in this market are single, and those who are more than 95% are single. Married seldom is because the husband does not agree, and the husband does not accept this practice. You can think differently, you want If you are a husband and your wife wants to do this, would you like it?The first one who is pregnant with someone else's child will have a big belly, and the life of husband and wife is restricted, and some husbands are unwilling because he feels that he is a bit soft.It’s not that they come out because of lack of money. The fact is that money is not the first priority for them, because this money is not earned just because they want to earn it. They have to have the ability and luck to earn this money. It takes 9 months to conceive. It takes 12 to 18 months to hold the baby. During this period, there are still times when it is not smooth, and the time will be longer.So it is not easy to earn this money, which is why there are few people who do it. She definitely does not use this money to pay rent. Pregnant mothers must have a stable environment before they can get pregnant with peace of mind.I admit that most of the practitioners in our industry have commercial thinking, and think this is a business.At first I thought so too, but it will gradually change. This is not just a business, just like a pregnant mother is not just for making money, but more of her love to support her, the more contact with the pregnant mother The more, the more admired, everyone is trustworthy.At the beginning, you may wonder whether the surrogate mother will add money halfway, or the child will not give it to me, or she will smoke and drink, which is not good for the child. Your worries are reasonable, but you don’t have to worry now, really don’t worry, pregnant It is not easy for Mom to persist until the end. Many people will be eliminated in the middle. Our company may receive 100 resumes a month, but only 10-20 can really be promoted in the end. The elimination rate is very high.We didn’t eliminate them on purpose, but they were passively eliminated. She will find that the process is difficult and challenging, which is different from what she imagined, so many quit by herself, and those who can persist until the end are very firm.

Then you have to ask how much the pregnant mother knows about the surrogacy process?So you can see whether she has done a good job in preparation.We will help her to reorganize this process, just to repeatedly emphasize that this process is not easy, let her know the hardships of this process, need medicine and injection, may have some nausea and some reactions, and go to the outpatient clinic, maybe twice a week times, and this clinic is not told to you long in advance, it is very random.I saw the doctor today and told me to come back in two days. It may not look good after two days. I will come again tomorrow. This may be the case, so I have to double check whether the pregnant mother is ready.Even if the customer does not ask this question, we will help the customer to ask the surrogate mother, and then confirm with her repeatedly.For example, if you encounter a maternity inspection at work, can you ask for leave?Does the boss agree?If you don't agree, you can't do it.I once met a pregnant mother who worked in a casino, and the logistics was in the office. She thought it was okay to ask for leave, but the boss disagreed during the actual operation, and the casino is very special, it is an independent The system, because it is an Indian, is his boss and he is still a special protection. He is not restricted by some conventional laws, and the pregnant mother has no way to complain. In the end, the pregnant mother can only compromise, save the job, and finally refuse guests.

So basically, I will focus on these major categories of questions, and the others are some small questions. For example, what information do you want to share during this process and update the progress.Videos can also be used for small talk.

The questions that cannot be asked are actually mainly about personal privacy.Our understanding of privacy is not the same as their understanding of privacy.For example, many customers will ask that once you do this, you will not be able to have a married life. In fact, there is really no need to emphasize it, pregnant mothers know it.There are also some customers who are more curious, and they also ask very specific questions about contraceptive methods. Don’t go too deep into these questions. Of course, we will remind customers that some questions are inappropriate during the video, so we don’t ask them.Don't worry too much, even if some people ask, when we do translation, we will ask in another way, but that's all.

 Another point that needs to be reminded is that many customers do not know what the purpose is, but they like to talk a lot and promise a lot. It may be that they were very excited at the time and were eager to let the surrogate mother cooperate with him.For example, if I want to invite you to travel in China, I will pay for the whole process. I want to be a good friend for life with you. I will let my children remember you forever. We will send you photos and maintain a good friend relationship. We will be very happy Thank you for that. . .I know that most of these customers will not honor what they say, or rarely honor it, so when I translate, I am not willing to translate so specificly, and some customers force me to translate it for me, as if you don’t translate You didn't do it well, why didn't you translate for me?I asked him can you do it?He said that if I can do it, I will translate it.But in fact, only two customers have fulfilled their promise to invite pregnant mothers to travel in China, one from Beijing and one from Shanghai. These two customers have left a deep impression on me. The surrogate mother is also very happy. If you don’t spend any money to play, the whole process is very good.But most of the customers did not keep their promises. They said they were friends before, basically after giving birth, they turned around and forgot. They were only busy with your own baby, and even the basic greetings were gone.Not to mention posting a photo a month, at least within half a year if you post a photo, it’s okay if you don’t get in touch after half a year. I’m too embarrassed to say that there is too much difference in the promises, so I suggest that the guests should not be so full of words. Many guests have made a lot of promises. As a result, when the video is over, do you want to confirm the cooperation and find fault with the pregnant mother? If you really feel bad , Why do you talk so much during the video? It’s nothing more than worrying that the pregnant mother won’t cooperate with you. Actually, it’s unnecessary.If you want to impress a pregnant mother, you don't need to rely on these things, you can talk about the hardships of your child-seeking process.I think every family is not easy, there is a sad story, some are cancer, some are repeated miscarriages, because most of our customers have normal needs, and it is rare to say that surrogacy is for a slim figure Most of these people have no way to have a child. In fact, this process is a very touching place, and the surrogate mother likes to hear it very much. She also wants to know why you want to be a surrogate?What do you do?This is very interesting to her, and she also wants to know about you, so if you tell me more, she is willing to listen.

This is another topic, which is what the surrogate mother wants to know about you.The first one is your husband and wife’s family situation. The video is a two-way choice. You should also introduce your family situation. Don’t just ask questions and forget to introduce yourself. Many guests wait for the pregnant mother to finish the introduction. After myself, I just ask questions without saying hello. I think this is a polite question. You can start asking questions after you have introduced yourself. Asking a question, it is actually unfair to the surrogate mother, she also wants to know your situation?What about the couple?Where do you live?What problems did you face while trying to have a baby?Why do you want to be a surrogate?This is what they are more concerned about.This is a good place to express yourself without any promises. For example, if you come to China to travel, for example, if some guests promise to succeed, you will be rewarded with 1 US dollars. In fact, these can’t help much, but your real request The process of childbirth can impress pregnant mothers even more.So everyone should pay attention to this place, don’t think that I only need to choose you, I only care about my problems, whether you fit me, but at the same time, she is also a choice for the surrogate mother, the video is a two-way, of course I do Now when there are very few videos, the two parties did not choose because the videos were not happy. So far, there have only been two cases in the 7.8 years of work. One is because the pregnant mother is not satisfied with the customers. She feels that the customers are older and a bit melancholy.The second is that the customer is not satisfied. The surrogate mother’s child is born too small and the baby is less than 7 pounds. The customer must be more than 7 pounds.So this is the relevant precautions when I summarize some videos with you.Looking forward to seeing you next time.